A theme felt and thought of more during this time of year, but something so many of us hold onto throughout the year whether we realize it or not. Hope started growing within me back in high school. It was tucked way back but existed.
The subject-this guy, my husband, Aaron. I know this sounds completely cliché, but back around 1999 I had this feeling he and I were meant to be.
At around 15 years old I told a friend at church that Aaron was “the one”and my friend told me I was too young to know what “love” was….that comment didn’t sit well with me but how was I to explain something I didn’t really understand? Aaron and I separated for some time, went in completely different directions…but even with time and space between us,there was still that quiet hope within me.
Then it happened.
My parents were at the Detroit Auto Show back in January of 2004. They ran into Aaron and that night I got a phone call-one I was secretly hoping for. While I could go into the details of how things evolved between us over the next couple of years, I’ll spare you. But his phone call I was hoping for was it. My gut feeling told me this was ”the one” -run with it or live in regret.
Now, 15 years later I can tell you my hope came from somewhere. It was no longer about me making “good” decisions it was the fact I really started to listen and pay close attention to a voice that was driving my gut instinct-God. I mean who breaks up with a nice guy and moves back home from college in the middle of the year to be with her childhood sweetheart? Or buys the first house they saw because it was “just perfect?” Who makes it through three months on bed rest with her sanity still mostly intact with twins? Or quits their job all of a sudden to stay home and have a third kid they always thought about but never thought they would have? And who packs up a perfectly nice home in suburbia in the dead of winter with three kids to move to the country to a home in need of some TLC? And lastly, how does one tackle learning how to walk again after complications from back surgery with a sense of peace?
It’s hard when you’re young to realize how God is working in your life. For me it’s taken years of reflection to see it wasn’t just my decisions that had taken me down this path…It’s been under the watchful eye and hand of God the whole time. So, while my younger self found hope, I now have found this friend in God. Someone who knows my weaknesses, flaws, faults, and imperfections, but knows my heart and the desire to live a life of not only purpose but also an abundance of happiness. I have found this almost surreal trust through unexpected events, disappointments, and challenges. But I have also found I depend on it and have no doubt, even in the worst of times, He will be there….and what a relief it is.
I can’t imagine a life without hope. A life without a God to believe in. With the New Year approaching, I’ve been thinking about the adventures our family has had this year. It’s been one of our most eventful years to date filled with the extremes of joy to unexpected and trying times. But through it all there was a peace that surrounded us. It’s not a year I’m wishing away or saying, “I’m glad that’s behind us.” While the difficulties could just make us chalk this year up to a loss, I see it as experiences that will continue to move our family into the direction we’ve desire. While I’m unsure of why some things occurred this year, I know that in years to come it will be revealed. So until then, I trust He has things under control. Which has me excited to see what the gift on another year has in store.
I wish you all a very happy and hopeful New Year that will bring you a lifetime full of happiness and peace!
Happy New Year!